&&It's her

Saturday, April 30, 2005

I know I can't make u stay.
I've sunk deeper and deeper in
Hard to get out
Hard to breath
Wishing I had bid the last goodbye
At least one last time
I miss u so much
That it hurts so badly
I really wish it is still the last time
The last time I could see you
Hear ur heartbeat
To know u r there
I know u wasn't for me
And I wasn't for u
Can't help to get out of this circle
Please stay
I need u

so blessed____________________ 12:08 PM

Friday, April 29, 2005

Haix. I think I gotta leave everything to God. I studied so hard for this mid year, yet I dun think I will do well this time. I just gotta continue trusting in HIM and work really hard for prelim.
I really feel that I have no life. And I mean NO LIFE. sigh.. everyday face the stoopid books and books and books.Why can't education not be so stressful? Why must we children suffer under this? sigh*
Finally I can have a day to rest. And really replace my sleeping time. (:

so blessed____________________ 6:40 PM

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

I'm sorry. I still can't forget the memories that I had. I just don't wish to,yet it has to be done. Tell me, why do I have to erase these sweet memories which I can't have anymore when the soul has left.haix. I cry each night, not able to bid the soul goodbye, I cry each night for the foolish things I had done.
nvm if u dun noe what i m talking abt
I found myself being "hardworking" these few days cos of the preparation of exam. This time the tension is really there. But I pray that God will give me the strenght to hold on there and peace so that I am able to do revision with no distraction.
I don't care what people think of me..
God I am sorry for living a life that u will not want me to live.
I am sorry,Lord.
I want to repent.
To stay close to you.
Thank you Lord for your wisdom and guidiance over things.
I thank you for my mentor for helping me realise so many things.
I want to be open,
To let you come nearer.
And I want to be near you.
Forever
And
Ever

so blessed____________________ 10:06 PM

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Happy Birthday my darling LOO YEE (:
I'm trying to discipline myself.
I want to do well.
I want to be a testimony
At least once...

Memories remains
The soul is leaving
I heartx u

so blessed____________________ 5:53 PM

Friday, April 22, 2005

Slept at 1 am on thursday morning cos I drank coffee the previous nite as I wanted to study for my tests. The funny thing is that I only had 4 and half hr of sleep yet I could survive thru the day on thursday (: After sch had cell with my sec 1, then went j8 with cheryl han to get some stuff then rushed to meet olyna at kallang theater where the church assembly of god had some kind of service or wad.. (: so much fun. yepp.. thanks olyna. Learnt so much and felt so much much better (:

After sch today had chinese oral exam for mid yr which i didn't prepare at all. Thank God i was calm and managed to breeze thru, but i dun think it was well done. After that had tuition, had lots of fun too. I took 162 home, met ah girl (Hui fang) inside then its like a "disabled" aunt (dunno who she is actually) talking abt how the ppl mistreated her and so on cos she is not as normal and lucky as us. I really pity her, really. How i wish i could comfort her, but I just couldn't do so cos she has the fierce tone. Sadded. Still, I pray to God that He will watch over her.

Till then..

so blessed____________________ 7:45 PM

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

if u had realised, i had not been updating much abt my life so far..
So here's wad I owe..

Mid yr exam is in one week's time. Kinda stressful cos seriously, am not well prepared yet. teachers r rushing the syllibus, some can't really understand, gotta study myself. Haix. Had been feeling very tired lately even though didn't do much. I am a pig.

People updated me with 1/5. Kinda sad to know abt wad had been happening ever since i seldom visit them cos my busy time in sch. Well.. I guess the form tcher gonna blame it on me again. Why? I am not as if wad teacher in charge or anything. I admit I m their PSL. but mind u, i have gone to the extend to take care of them even though PSLs do not need to go to their sec 1s class anymore. I really dunno what the form tcher expect from me. every time he sees me and anything happens, sure there are negative things said to discourage me. bleah*

Another prob, sorry girl. I didn't realise things had turned out like this. I am really sorry.. but to tell u.. i care for u..

I had my O level f&n practical today. Dunno wad to say. My stoopid supposed to be rice turned out to become porridge. But the rest was alrite, mellya gave me some fruits for my side dish which i thought of it last min thing. Haha` I kinda saw my result for practical. dunno wad to sae. Pray I will survive yea?

Well, till then. gotta go for now.

so blessed____________________ 10:11 PM

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

blessed.
cared.
happier.
loved.
smile
have a blessed week ahead__

so blessed____________________ 6:06 AM

Saturday, April 16, 2005

To: Ha

i don't care who ever u're. If u don't like me, it's ur problem and please, no one in this world sux. The one thinks others sux is because they themselves got some knots inside them. Like what I said before, I still love and care for everyone in this world, because we are God's children. We are bornt to be a sinner and not pure, so we should try to love one another. Isn't your heart have a heavy burden to carry when u hate someone? Don't u feel terrible? I guess maybe there are some misundserstandings between us, I hope to clarify with you. Please, tell me who are u..

And please, why do i haf to act? You think I have nth better to do? I'm very clear of what I am doing.
And if no one can stand me, I will not have true friends that care and love me. If no one can stand me, I will not be what I am now.
Please, think before you say anything.
If there is anything you not happy with me, please just tell it straight to my face. I need to noe.

so blessed____________________ 11:31 AM

Friday, April 15, 2005

Happy international Friendship day to all of uu out there!
Yea!!
Anyway only had 5 lessons. After recess went for celebration in the hall.
frankly speaking, this year's celebration is not as good as pass few yrs.
After chix remedial, rushed home with cheryl han and shi pei cos gotta go for tuition.
Not a bad day i think [ even though it seems boring]
well, no choice. sec 4 life is like this if i wan to get a good result.
Mid yr exam is drawing closer each day. 2 more wks onli .sigh..

Thanks my darling.. thank u for the listening ear these few days. thank u so much for ur care and concern. time will heal everything (:
ilu

so blessed____________________ 8:18 PM

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Hehe` I finally completed the Dolphin Bay show within 6 days(abt 3 discs/ day)
Hiak hiak hiak*
Anyway, I m really proud of myself cos I passed my 2.4 km re run today (: But then I had a headache after the run, so didn't do the geography test while the class was doing.I felt so terribly sick for the one period of geo test.
Suppose to meet up with cheryl han for discipleship with her, but didn't manage to as it was really rush, so i guess meeting her next week with Dionne. Supposed to meet up with olyna, but she couldn't make it, really sad. Wanted so much to talk to her. Thank God I will be seeing her tml (: yey!
Catch up with simone mommy yest. So much has been happening to her. How I wish we are still in the same class since we are in sec 1 and 2. Well, friends, or rather people change, yea.
I just pray that everything will be fine.
I pray Hai Van will get better and will come back soon.
I miss her.
I miss u.
Don't ask me why

so blessed____________________ 9:03 PM

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Mid-yr exam is in 2 weeks time. One word, scared. I noe I shdn't be feeling this way. I just can't help it. Haizz`
I guess I have been thinking too much lately. Of what? Alot is going thru my mind. I just don't want to think more. I just want to be happy, but can I? Do I have the time to be happy? I guess not. Time is running out. I can't waste my time anymore. I should be studying. But the problem is, why must we face studies everyday? It will only cause unhappiness, stressness, anger, and wadeva u can think of. Haiz`

I just wanna be who I am.
Do I have the chance to?
Someone,
Tell me.
I can't hide
No more

so blessed____________________ 9:39 PM

Arrgghh` now in comp lab doing F&N thingy. Very sian and tiring!!! Can go crazy..
Anyway has been lazy to update cos has been busy watching the "Dolphin Lover" VCd (anyhow write). It's actually showing in Channel U every wed to fri 7.30 pm, but i want to watch and eager to find out the story faster, so I borrowed the VCD from yin xin. Hiak*hiak*hiak*
Oh Saturday had a math test.one word, DIE. Yepp. cannot make it. After tt went for chinese tuition.
As usual sunday went church. Saw the one. Don ask me who. Was upset. Nvm abt that. Yea. Sch of sheperding was fun. Got video again. Hiak*
Oh yesterday was very sleepy in sch but when i went home, very energetic, why? watch the show. Hahaha` finished vol one already. so saddening ya noe :p
kk. stop writing here. cont with my work. byebye

so blessed____________________ 12:50 PM

Friday, April 08, 2005

Just reached home (:
After sch rushed home to get changed then went for a math tuition. After that went orchard with Hua Yee, Rachel, Fidot and Yin Xin. So fun (: We ate soul garden for 2 hrs!! Then we were like joking like nobody's business. Haha. Cos we targeted to eat like 20 plates lar, then the topid waiter kept taking the empty used plates away, then each time they took away, I would say "hey i want to count one ler" of cos the waiter nv hear lar. then each time they will noe wad i wanted to sae. haha.Okkk.. i m talking rubbish here. Anyway we were so full! Then we walked to cinelesuire there took pics, walked aroun then went home.

Arrggghhh!! Tml gonna take a math test then chix tution. Busy week ahead.
No time to meet Olyna when I am suppose to and I want to!!
KK.. stop crapping.
Bye.

I miss yew

so blessed____________________ 11:05 PM

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Has been so lazy to update these few days.
Anyway Life has been good these few days. I prayed the sinners prayer for Dionne (: She is a brand new person on Monday (: Praise GOD! Yea.. All of us ran in the rain for 2.4 km and I tell u, it sux`
The assembly on Tuesday was really a different experience for all of us. The band were really talented! It was said that they are the Genius World Record thingy.
Suppose to have A math test yesterday after ss test, but cos I wasn't well prepared, Ms Tan let us take another day, which is this coming Saturday. *Phew* I wanna pass!!
And I got confidence for today's Geo test (:
No confidence for the 5 station for NAPFA. Rachel and Yin Xin too. We flunked them. Lalala`
Looking forward to tml cos we are going out to chill!! Hua Yee, Rachel, Yin Xin, Fidot and Me! Besties foreva.. haha.. yea..
Life has been really really great!
Always look on the bright side of life!
Weee!

so blessed____________________ 5:41 PM

Monday, April 04, 2005

my hometown!! miss the place so much...

Anyway 2.4 Km run today was a failure for me. I didn't run properly :X

so blessed____________________ 7:51 PM

Sunday, April 03, 2005

April Fool's trick (1 April 2005)
Was crying when I received the sms saying that she was going back to Indonesia, not coming back to Sg anymore to study. This is when I realised I still love her, I still want her back despite so many things that had happened. So many things that she has caused me to feel hurt. I thought it was for real that she was going back, I cried even though I knew it was just an April Fool's trick cos I realised I can't bear to be without her :(

Lord, forgive me for having so much of negative feelings for this sister.Clean my heart,let me love this sister more and more each day, and change her to be like what you want her to be, Lord. Thank you Jesus, In precious wonderful name I pray, Amen.

so blessed____________________ 8:03 AM

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Today's real real good day (:
First stayed at home did some homework, then went for tuition. After tuition went to meet Linda and we went to Marina bay together. Suppose to go Simone's house for dinner, so sorry mommy! cos i just remembered got cell outing, so I turned her down. Sorry!!!
Had a heaps of fun, really. After stressful days I have (:
I was so excited telling them about Mrs Ong's shop in Plaza sing. Cos we went there after steamboat :p
Praise the Lord!!! I'm going to pray for them this coming Monday! And I will be their discipler (: I will follow up on them (:
I will praise ur name forever and ever.
And I live for u until internity :)

so blessed____________________ 11:21 PM

Friday, April 01, 2005

Had not been updating these 3 days due to the busy days I had dis wk. I finally went down for training and I feel so good after not running seriously for so long (: The feeling to be back with a team is really good. I think, I promise I will go back, I will want to find back my passion for netball. I used to love netball, I guess I will love it more and more now, even though I don't play well. I am playing for the interhouse competition for netball also.

I taught a small grp of 1/5 math on thursday. Really feel so "proud" of myself, cos first time teaching people in such a manner and patiently. What amazed me was their attitude towards math. They really really want to learn (: I believe, with all my heart that their math will improve tremendously if they cont to have this type of attitude.

I've promised God some things, and I want and really want to try to keep to my promise cos he is really there to watch over me and I want to change for Him. I noe I said this many times, but I want to persever on, never let go.

I'm bad,real bad.. cos I realise I developed the feeling of hate towards the person, God's son, just because he treated me as his organiser. I shouldn't be this way, but I just can't help it. He just don't realise his mistakes. Teach me Lord, how can I forgive this person, this brother of mine.

So thankful to God that Anita was discharged on Tuesday (: She's recovering fast. Haha yea. And I am so thankful that 2 gals in 1/5 wants and really wants to know christ (: My prayers have been answered. I'm so thankful my result for chix is improving.

Ah! Today's april fool~ was fooled by so many ppl, esp my 1/5.. hhmmmppp.. haha.. but I lorve them really lots! Muacks*

pls don run away.. i beg u..

so blessed____________________ 8:55 PM