&&It's her

Monday, January 31, 2005

home early today cos nth on in sch aft sch.
everything went on smoothly (:
Mood getting better each day.
More tests are coming up.
Do pray for me yea.
O level question for f&n courswork will be out tmL!
be prepared`

so blessed____________________ 4:24 PM

Sunday, January 30, 2005

here's a grp of lame ppl ruled by the lame king!! u shd noe who i m toking abt :p

so blessed____________________ 5:54 PM

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Went meet up with linda at china town and had lunch. Had a very deep sharing with her. Thanks so much linda for sharing so much with me (: I dont mind anything one ya noe cos we're sister in christ! (: Then shopped for a while and we headed for cell. Saw leon there and he's sick, so didnt join us for cell. Will pray for him. Cell was different today... I shared with Shwu Huey deep today, and she did too. So glad that we are able to put the real mask and not fake mask in our faces. Oh yea, yest zi xin too shared deep with me. Realised so much... real alot.., Anyway Linda and I went great world city to shop for a while then took shuttle bus back to orchard road. And here I m writing...

I've nv thought this will happen.
Thought I would just keep it within me
And not reveal
It was revealed
And I knew the ans.
I'm alright now.
Really.
What I need in my life is
God.
He is the one that loves me,
Changes me.
Making me realise
So much
Real lots in life...

so blessed____________________ 9:46 PM

Friday, January 28, 2005

I'm confused.
Real confused.
Dunno why
I shouldn't haf done that.
Confused by the ans given.
What was that suppose to mean?
Can u tell me?
I need to know the real ans.

Bleah*
Didnt really study for chem test cos was too tired last nite. Morning read thru abit on the way to sch and in sch. It was not that bad after all. Yea.. I m still confused over things. What things, I also dunno...
Didn't talk to the one that made me so confused cos I didnt dare to. dunno why.. real confused. Bleah*
Stayed back till 5++ to paint and clean the class room. Am really tired. Heard they extended the deadline, which is good :p
Finally i can wake up later tml.. yeeepp. excited to see church friends again (:

so blessed____________________ 7:41 PM

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Yesterday went home straight after school with darl. Went swimming with rieka's little bro and sis.. very fun (: Studied very hard for amath test for today and didnt do some homework, thank God the teachers didn collect. Then today was really sucky. Was scared all the way since morning till now for my amath. It was really very difficult! I'm sure that I fail even though I noe I shouldnt feel this way cos God says so.Do not fear anything.. Anyway i really just hope that I can continue taking A math cos I love maths!! After the test, stayed back with some folks to paint the class room. Almost done (: Next week still got lots of tests. I wonder how I am going to survive thru this year. If i don get into jc, i haf to go overseas for further studies!! I dont wan! Okok, end here.. if not i really feel like crying...

so blessed____________________ 7:52 PM

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Sunday was really wonderful (: Lots of laugther, love and joy. Really, i could feel it when i m in church. It's wad i m searching for after some tiring, hectic week that i had last week. This week's been real good cos I dont care wad ppl sae abt me, I noe God loves me for who i m and also learn that suffering in this world is a test from God and he wans to shape, stir me and draw me closer to him (: It's really a blessing ya noe :p Yea` Lots of tests coming up and i m trying to study real hard for all the tests, esp A math. Thanks Samuel for ur prayer on sunday :) And Lame King!! You said u wan to pray for me, where's ur prayer? jk jk..

Yest was Liping's birthday! Happy birthday gal!
And today!! Mr Hiew's Birthday! I wished u really lots of time. I wan to abish u 27x! :p :p

Gotta go for now.. lala`

so blessed____________________ 6:41 PM

Sunday, January 23, 2005

I felt so accomplished on Friday cos I managed to sit down to revise for my amath :p Did some homework too, then in the evening went shopping with mama. Hehe` It's been months since i went out with her.
Yesterday morning sent my mom off to world trade center. Suddenly miss her so much. haha.. weird eh? haix. shall not say the bad thing :p
Then in the afternoon had lunch with Judy and Mel, then went back to church office to do some math. So fed up with myself cos I cant rem logarithm and trigo thingy [havent revise mah :p] but had really lots of fun with them around which made me less stress. Cell was kinda different yesterday. All of us,boys and gals, shared about our life so far and prayed for one another. Discussed abt the youth room. So excited and exciting :p
After cell, Judy,Mel, Loo Yee, Linda and I went compass point after taking such a long time to decide where to go. Had dinner and had lots of fun listening to them sharing abt wad had happened before I was in CNL. really interesting.. yea.. walked a while, then i went home le.
Going for service later.So exciting (: (:
Anyway, everything in life is a test from GOD :) GOD is great :)

so blessed____________________ 8:39 AM

Friday, January 21, 2005

Dear heavenly father,

I thank you lord for the tests that you are putting me into. All these make me realise how much i should trust you, I should be strong, have faith in you. Lord father, I hand the group of girls in class into your hand, lord. Give me wisdom and the love heart to forgive them and love them again lord. Father lord, i pray that you will open up their hearts and take away the evils, the hurts in their hearts lord. Let them come back to you lord. Because you are their father lord. You are the one that create them lord, you give them a pure heart lord, but they allow evils to enter their hearts and change their characters lord. Father lord, I pray that they really will read your words and also you will speak to them lord. Father lord, I thank you so much for them, because of them you make me realise so much in life. In life, things are not easy and we have to learn and be strong. Thank you lord for all the things that you have done for all of us lord. I pray that you will bless my class and that my class will not give so much trouble to miss tan anymore lord. She has been a faithful servant to you lord. She always try her best for everything for our class lord. She is really a blessing to our class lord. If only everyone appreciate her lord.

Father Lord, I pray that you will give me wisdom so that I will really serve you with all my heart and also study hard for this year Lord. I really want to thank you for the ones in my life who help me, who change me for the better and for those who just walk pass me each day with a hello or hi, as this makes my days (: thank you lord. In jesus name, i pray, amen!

so blessed____________________ 2:59 PM

This week is a really busy week for me.
Ups and down too.
Trying to stay strong, yet broke down a few times.
Thanks so much peeps for ur comforts.
Finally started work for 407 class room painting.
If they don appreciate, i really dunno what to sae.
Really had hard time doing stuff when no one appreciate.
No more pccg lessons with 105. Kinda miss them.
They are really a bunch of nice ppl :)
Especially James. If he can become the deyi idol, that will be so good :p
Miss Tan treated us to pizza hut yesterday. Had so much fun ^_^
Next week still got lots of tests to handle.
AMATH QUALIFYING TEST! OMG` pray for me yea?!

so blessed____________________ 10:38 AM

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Yesterday after school stayed back in sch till 6++ helping in painting of geo corner and 4/8. slacked a little too :p had fun (: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZIXIN!
Today's little tired. In the morning had assembly in hall in the morning abt the sec 1 orientation thingy. it's real cute, especially when some of the sec 1s shared their thoughts of the orientation and stuff. :) Lessons were alright. We cooked sayur lodeh for f&n :)
after sch went down to 1/5 to inform abt tml's deco thingy, was difficult to handle the guys, but eventually things were okae. just pray tt tml everything will run smoothly. then also went up cls to dicuss abt the cls painting and ss project. went up to 2/6 and 2/7 to help abit in their paintings...
Oh ya.. wanna wish all the Netballers all the best for the tornoument` Do ur best guys!
Then today slacked till abt 4++ 5 then went home with the sec 1s. They are real cute :p HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRENDA!

so blessed____________________ 5:55 PM

Sunday, January 16, 2005

ouch* i m carrying a cute baby :) real adorable rite? hehehe.. so happy

so blessed____________________ 6:55 PM

guess who is this lame person? :p

so blessed____________________ 6:54 PM

primary 6s and sec 1s.. really cute gals and boys :)

so blessed____________________ 6:53 PM

sam sam :)

so blessed____________________ 6:52 PM

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Lalalala` Met up early with Linda and had lunch at china town. Met up with shang min at lakeside mrt then we went to our new church there the mac where the rest did some homework and meetings. After that we started our cleaning up. It's real fun (: Especially cleaning the toilet part. haha` u may think that i m mad to sae that rite? I believe and strongly pray that the whole room will be filled with the youth and one day we will move out into a bigger room (: I haf faith in HIM. Andrea sent me and Agnes to town and we walked and had a chat to Plaza Singapura where i met up with dillys, then li ping,da jie. Happen to meet mellya, sherly and ricky. Had dinner, crapping around, shopped a bit and took some neo neo (: Real great day i haf :)

so blessed____________________ 10:42 PM

Friday, January 14, 2005

Sianx`had been spending so much time doing my english journal homework and it's not done yet. Getting a rest first.Feeling so much so much better today.Nth much happen in sch.After school, went to denna's hse had lunch and went to thomson plaza to check out the paint price and did some shopping with denna at popular and ntuc. So fun with this "mad woman".Love u so much darling :p
Anyway, weekend will be kinda busy doing homework and revision, plus cleaning up church and service. :) I m more positive now. Next week got 3 tests! Chinese, geography and f&n.
Thank u lord for letting me to be the normal me again. Things are getting better now..

so blessed____________________ 9:20 PM

I shouldnt take things for granted. You shouldn't apologise to me for not spending time with me and share deeply with me anymore, cos I'm not ur sheep anymore and u haf the right not to care for me anymore. I m sorrie. Thanks for calling me and encouraging me (:
Thanks so much people for being there when I need encouragement. U guys always remind me of the Goodness of Him and make me understand and realise so many things. I m really encouraged. I really know that God loves me and have a better plan for me. I shouldn't be knocked down just the things in this world. They are just tests from Him.I've been praying to God, I shouldn't give up. Really...
Yesterday was a better day for me. I felt so much so much better in sch. No stress, no nth. Just living a normal day. Thank God for that (:
The F&N presentation, only my group sent the project to ms Ng, so my grp gotta present without preparing any speech. So malu :p
Went home early too cos had nth on in sch. Went home with my darling Denna too (: So long nv catch up with her, was really nice walking beside her again, talking rubbish :p At least she made my day :) Thanks so much darling (: Had chinese tution in the evening too. Alright larx.
Gonna meet up with Olyna later aft sch. Kinda nervous cos it's one on one! Ow. haha >_<

Thank you Lord for sending angles to be there for me when I need u. You send them on behalf of u to remind me of u. Thank you Lord for being such a faithful father to me. You never give up on me, instead, you always remind me to seek u always...

so blessed____________________ 6:01 AM

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

How am I feeling rite now? sux.irritated.angry.unfairness.wadeva-
I just feel bad right now. Real bad-
Why do i commit myself into it so much, at the end still nth. Really. I tried coming down for every training, tried my best for improvement, had been serious and things. Still, wad do i get? absolutely unfairness judgment from whoever it is. Haix` I shouln't thought of quiting, and I guess i m not going to since its my last yr. I just feel real bad now. A feeling hard to explain.It's maybe just that I dont haf the talent of playing balls...

Before that, I was having so much fun and filled with so much laughter.. i just love the sec 1s and my friends. They really made my day. But Everything changed... I dunno why. I tried mixing around in it with them, i just cant seem to get along with them. Maybe my standard is not there? U noe everytime i see my ex-sheperd,who used to care so much for me, how i wish i can share with her like i used to, but now, she doesnt seem to care much any more. We dun share deeply anymore. I really wish to have her as my sheperd. But that's really impossible. Things had changed, I was at the fault. Everything's my fault. I should ask for so much. im sorrie..

Thanks Linda for the call just now. I did feel better after the call. At least u care for me. This is wad i m lacking of. Really. I should really trust God for everything I do...

so blessed____________________ 10:30 PM

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Stress!!!
This week sure is a busy for me.
Had meeting for helping with the decoration of class for sec 1s class. Gonna haf 2 weeks of pccg with them to dicuss.
Volunteered to be in the painting of walls committe in class cos i love painting but it's gonna be destroyed, thanks to me :p
Had friendly match with Anderson sec today. Dont be discouraged guys! We have improved! I didnt play though. I knew it. I m not a good player. Not worth coming for training. But God is good. He told me to continue going, I can improve.
Dont understand A math the graph thingy. kinda worried cos I was so tired and brain could not absorbed anything!! shoot!!
Just now after the match, rushed for tution, skarli called tcher, she said cancelled. wasted my $$. I took cab there. Haix.
Anyway, i really wish to take a rest. I think i m going to break down real soon. Real soon...

so blessed____________________ 8:12 PM

Monday, January 10, 2005

Saturday evening went to help out with getting ready for the main service at jurong ntuc lifesyle which is soo far away from my house. But thank God Norman sent us there. Had lots of fun though tired. Got to see the new worship place. They arereally BIG and BEAUTIFUL. Then yesterday, Norman sent my bro and I for service cos I dunno how to go. I went there so early. But anyway the service was really great and after one week of not seeing my friends, felt so good again (: But sorrie guys, I rushed off to haf lunch with my bro and friends. Next week kae?? We go eat roti prata [tt's wad pastor ong ate]lolx. Anyway at nite went to ren ci the charity show live! Cos simon, norman's friend works there and he got free ticks. Elaine and family were also there. Hehe` gotta see so many stars there too. But i must remind myself, this is a charity show not concert!After the S.H.E part, all of us left to have dinner some where near kallang indoor stadium the stadium. Thanks so much peeeepz. The funny part was when norman was sending us home, we drove past Geylang. Then all of us was so curious okae! U noe wad I mean :p :p.. kk.. enough of my nonsense. So fun to be with the group of people. Although they are 'old' they are still a little kid in my eyes! Haha..

so blessed____________________ 5:54 AM

Saturday, January 08, 2005

The camp FIRE` real cool rite? taken in a certain lame angle by me. haha

so blessed____________________ 3:34 PM

Me and Mon (: After dinner in canteen

so blessed____________________ 3:33 PM

Sec 1 orientation is officially over now.
Phew~~
They ended the orientation with a camp for yest to today. I didnt join them for the station game cos i got tution, so i joined them later in the evening to help with the camp fire preparation. Was a little messy yet fun. Went home and aunties and uncles and cousins came over for a small gathering. Didnt join in much cos was tired. Slept and today went for te cca orientation which i was late cos woke up late [i didnt stay over nite]. Was great. Lots wannna join netball (: NETBALL rawkz!
Suppose to go out with mama today, at the end change to tml. Plus cleaning of jurong also cancelled.

(: (:

so blessed____________________ 3:24 PM

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Phew..
Had been very tired these two days. Finally could sit down and pay attention in class for the whole day. Quite alrite lar.. but one lesson is quite short. Yea.. yest was dreading to go training, told ms ng and she still encouraged me to go which gave me the spirit for training. The running part for me was bad. I ran one full round outside school and was having a cramp so decided to go back to school. Training was really nice and all of us were really serious. But this still didnt stop me from thinking that I wont be in sch team. Yes.. I m sure i wont be in sch team dis yr.
Tomorrow there will be sec 1 orientation camp. Wont be going cos got tution and parents reject me from going for too many activities. Saturday will be an exciting day for all of us (: We will be 'renovating' our new place at jurong (:I m so excited for going to see them again after not seeing them for 5 days (: Yipppeee` hehehe...
alrite.. gonna study for now..

so blessed____________________ 6:32 PM

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Today was so much better.
thought will be staying in cls the whole day but they said needa go down for duty. so went down. I briefed my team members real clearly, making sure everything will run smoothly and everything.
Noticed so much improvement in my staff members and also youth 5[105] even though i was quite fierce to them. Dun believe that i m fierce at times rite? haha.. yea i was real fierce just now. But at least now they talk more and response more. This is what I m yearning for.
Tomorrow onwards will have normal lessons. I really hope I will buck up.

so blessed____________________ 8:31 PM

Monday, January 03, 2005

School has started. No!! It was really a night mare to me. Haiz` Everything for me doesnt seem right. Maybe it's one of the test that God's putting me on. 3rd week of school we will have Amath qualifying test!! NO!!!

Teachers i got -->
Form: Ms Joanna tan
Co form: Mrs Cheam
Eng: Mrs Sonia Sng
Amath/Emath: Ms Joanna Tan
Chinese: Mr Peng
PE: Mr CHia
Ss: Ms Poh
Geo: Mrs Raja
F&N: Ms Ng.

Quite alrite lar. Stress!!

so blessed____________________ 6:36 PM

Sunday, January 02, 2005

cake bought by me. mistaken that today is judy's birthday (: at the end we ate just a small celebration :)

so blessed____________________ 4:09 PM

the last time we are at orchard hotel outside youth service room. I noe i look ugly (X

so blessed____________________ 4:03 PM

Yest's first youth service real rox my world (: Got so much fun and happening. I m ready to serve God forever (:
So happy that we had 3 services altogether this wk (: I praise him with all my hearts (:
Ok, bad thing is I'm going back to sch tml!!! NooO!!! Nite mare!! (X
I love everyone :)

so blessed____________________ 3:57 PM

Saturday, January 01, 2005

...let it be a sweet sweet sound in ur ears...

Yesterday's watch night service was really a huge experience for me. So much sharing and testimonies of brothers and sisters. I am so touched by how God love us, change us. Pastor Ong said : " Do not change ourselves, Let God change us, cos he wans us to be a better person" I've been trying to change myself with my own strength, but I shall not do that anymore cos I know God has so much for me in future. I shall Obey him and live on..

Happy New year!
Time really flies. Today is the first day of 2005. Not used to it at all. I still miss 2004. I had went thru so much that year... Shall not mention the good or bad things. I shall write my resolutions for 2005 (:

-To spend more time with God, talk and trust him in wadeva things i m doing, troubles and everthing shall share with him, treat him like a best friend of mine. cos he is great! (:

-To plan my time really carefully. Spend more time studying instead of slacking!! Important point cos o level!! Wah stress!

-To be a more filial daughter. Not to let my parents or any adults worry about me. Be more MATURE in handling things!

-Not to touch computer often! Study more!

-No more negative thoughts about myself, always look on bright side of life

-Any problems,dont keep to myself, share and seek help!! This is imp too (:

-Let the not important thoughts be put aside and do the things that are more imp.

-Love my enemies too cos God loves us for who we are (:

Alrite, that's the resolutions so far. If any more to be added, i will add on yea. I really wan to be a different person from what i used to be. But i shall not change myself but let god change me. Let his holy spirit move in my life. Let them change me. I really craft for him... I want to be a good daugther, a good child in God's eyes.

I would like to thank everyone in my life again[ even though i keep thanking] Really.. without u guys, where would I be now? Especially my church people, YNL.. this is the place where I realise so much so much.. sisters and brothers, pastors, leaders.. i will love all of u forever cos all of u really make me realise so much. All of u keep me away from loneliness, keep me away from the bad memories, keep me away from my negative thoughts and make me realise that there are people who love me (:

Lastly, I'll keep the sunaimi disaster victims in prayers. Let them have a peace of God and not worry about anything. I pray that God will come and save them. Let them live on because there are so much they havent encounter in life yet. Thank you Lord for everything.

so blessed____________________ 10:13 AM